3 WAYS TO RESOLVE INTERNAL CONFLICTS

HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE “PART OF ME WANTS TO DO THIS… AND PART OF ME WANTS THAT?”

I have. And let me tell you—it’s exhausting.

Back in 2013, I was standing in my kitchen late at night, staring at my laptop with my head in my hands.

Seven years with the same company. Seven years of building trust, friendships, and a reputation I was proud of.

But deep down, something in me had started to ache.
 

⬅️ One part of me whispered, “Stay… you’re safe here. You’ve worked too hard to walk away.”
 

➡️ Another part tugged harder, “Leave… you’ve outgrown this. There’s something bigger waiting for you.”

I would commute to work feeling grateful one minute and trapped the next.

It felt like I was two different people living in one body.

Whether you’re:

• In the midst of changing careers,
• Looking for your next job, or
• Simply torn between two tough decisions—you know this feeling, don’t you?

That tug‑of‑war inside your chest?

THE SURPRISING TRUTH ABOUT “PARTS”

When I first started studying Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), I learned something that changed the way I see inner conflict forever.

In NLP, Part isn’t just a figure of speech.

It literally means:

“Any state‑dependent neural network with enough functional autonomy to run its strategies without control by the rest of the mind.”

That might sound technical, so let’s unpack it together in plain language:

• State‑dependent: A Part only shows up in certain mental or emotional states. Calm at lunch, but anxious in a meeting? That’s a Part waking up.
• Neural network: A Part is like a little bundle of memories, beliefs, motivations, and habits living in your nervous system.
• Functional autonomy: Once triggered, a Part can run its own show—even if it clashes with what the rest of you wants.

The easiest way I’ve found to explain it?

Imagine your mind as a big orchestra. Most days, every instrument follows the conductor—you.
But sometimes, a single instrument starts playing its own tune… louder and louder. 

That’s a Part. It’s not trying to ruin the music. It actually thinks it’s helping you.

WHERE DO THESE “PARTS” COME FROM

Here’s the fascinating part: you didn’t create these Parts on purpose.

They were formed in moments so vivid they left a mark on you—moments your unconscious mind never forgot.

✅ Maybe you stayed silent in a meeting because, as a kid, you once spoke up in class and got laughed at—so now a part of you still hesitates to share your ideas.

✅ Maybe you overwork yourself today because, as a teenager, you were told you’d never make it unless you pushed twice as hard—so a part of you still fears slowing down.

✅ Maybe you avoid asking for help because, growing up, you were praised for “being so independent”—so a part of you still equates asking for support with weakness.

These experiences become little “guardians” in your mind.

Their goal is to keep you safe, but as you grow, their methods often clash with who you are today—especially when you’re striving for a promotion, navigating a career shift, or trying to be everything to everyone.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU IGNORE THESE “PARTS”

Here’s the harsh reality—ignoring them doesn’t make them disappear.

They keep looping.

You might catch yourself thinking: “Why does this keep happening to me?”

You see the pattern. You want to change.

But then, under stress, the old script takes over.

That’s because your unconscious mind (the orchestra) is still letting that one Part run the show.

A CLIENT STORY THAT STILL GIVES ME CHILLS

Nick came to me feeling stuck and heavy.

He was single and drinking most nights, even though part of him was desperate for a new life.

Another part whispered, “Keep drinking. At least you won’t feel the ache of being alone.”

In a private 50‑minute session, I gently guided him to separate his intentions from behavior.

We asked each Part, “What are you trying to give Nick?”

And we uncovered something beautiful: both Parts wanted connection.

We traced it back to a memory he’d buried for years—being bullied in mid‑school, which made him believe it wasn’t safe to get close to people.

When that session ended, Nick looked at me, tears streaming, and said:

“It’s like the rocks I’ve been carrying finally lifted off me.”

A year later, after completing a six‑month program with me, I opened my mailbox and found a wedding invitation with his name on it.

He didn’t just stop drinking.

He built the deep, safe connection his heart had been craving since childhood.

3 WAYS YOU CAN START RESOLVING YOUR OWN INNER CONFLICTS

Here are 3 ways to start untangling your own Parts right now—whether you’re deciding on a career change, trying to stop patterns that drain you, or just tired of feeling torn inside:

1) NOTICE WHEN A “PART” SHOWS UP

Your first step is to catch the moment it takes control.

A Part often sneaks in when you’re in a specific mental or emotional state—stressed in a meeting, lonely on a Saturday night, overlooked in a conversation.

Ask yourself:

• When was the last time you felt torn inside? What was happening around you?
• What emotions were alive in you right before you noticed that conflict?
• Were you feeling calm before something triggered you, or were you already on edge?

The more you notice when a Part wakes up, the less power it has to run your life on autopilot.

2) EXPLORE THE MEMORIES BEHIND THE “PART”

Each Part is a little neural network made up of memories, beliefs, motivations, and habits—many formed when you were much younger.

Seek answers for the following:

• Growing up, what moments stand out when you felt judged, unseen, or scared?
• What beliefs did those experiences teach you about yourself or the world?
• What habits did you develop back then to feel safe or accepted?

By journaling on these, you begin to see the origin story of your Parts and why they react the way they do today.

3) IDENTIFY THE OUTCOMES THAT DON’T SERVE YOU

Parts have functional autonomy—they can lead you into actions or habits that feel out of sync with the life you want.

When a Part takes over, it often leaves a trail: decisions you regret, habits that drain you, or patterns that keep looping.

Think about:

• What’s a behavior you repeat even though you know it doesn’t serve you?
• What outcome keeps showing up in your life that leaves you frustrated or stuck?
• How does that behavior throw you off course from the life you want to create?

When you identify those outcomes, you begin to see which instrument in your inner orchestra has been playing out of tune—and you can finally guide it back into rhythm with the rest of you, creating a harmony that feels true to who you are now.

LET’S CREATE CLARITY TOGETHER

You can start this work on your own—or, like Nick and so many others, you can get guidance that helps you flip the story of your life and finally break free.

Sometimes having someone hold up a mirror to your patterns is all it takes to move from stuck to unstoppable.

I’m offering a FREE 15‑Minute Mindset Clarity Call to help you uncover the roots of your inner conflict.

You’ll leave with clarity, confidence, and the power to make choices that bring peace instead of inner battles.

👉 Book your call now! 

Your next chapter is ready. Let’s bring your inner orchestra back into harmony—so you can feel fully, authentically YOU.

BE YOU FOR YOU ®